Baku Baku (1996)

This late Game Gear port is exclusive to Brazil and, visually speaking, doesn’t present a strong case for itself. The resolution appears to be the same as the handheld’s so the whole thing has a border around it, while eagle-eyed Baku Baku fans may also notice it’s a touch lacking in the colour department, too. Frankly, none of that matters, because Baku Baku is still a banger (banger), a fast-paced puzzle game that was perhaps a better fit on the Game Gear but nevertheless retains its playability here some two years later. Match the animal to their preferred foodstuff and score yourself some points. Plenty of scope for chains make for a compelling action-puzzle experience. Regrettably, the two-player option has been completely removed, though this is somewhat understandable given the hardware. Not quite as good as the Game Gear version, then, but still a hugely enjoyable cart. Oh, and while the boxart says Baku Baku, the title screen and everything else says Baku Baku Animal. Make up your sodding minds, Sega! ****

Bank Panic (1987)

This is a cheerful little game about working at the bank, which makes it seem like the most exciting profession imaginable. I can only assume this is not the case. Here, you’re operating in a bizarre, implicitly circular bank, rotating between selections of three doors (of 12) and either cheerfully accepting money or blowing away any bank robbers who may deign to be stupid enough to step to you. As a more or less first-person blaster, you’d think this was Sega Light Phaser territory, but apparently not. This means you’ll be using Up on the D-Pad to shoot the leftmost door, with Buttons 1 and 2 covering the middle and right. This isn’t ideal, but you get used to it. There’s a strategic element to the game as when an outlaw reveals himself you’ll need to wait for them to draw their own weapon before blowing them away in order to achieve a higher score. You can just shoot them immediately, of course, but the game amusingly deems this “unfair” and penalises you. These varmints are smarter than you’d think, often disguising themselves as victims before whipping off their camouflage and taking aim. It all looks great and offers a nicely fast-paced experience that’ll put your brain to work as much as your trigger finger. Now draw! Out a tenner or so from the bank and buy this. Available on cart, Sega Card, or built into your original console. That version will probably cost significantly more, though. ****

Basketball Nightmare (1989)

All basketball is a nightmare for me, because being 6’7” in size (yes, I know, 6-7, ha ha) I am almost constantly asked if I play, or if I have considered playing. This even happened to me when I went to MAGfest in January 2026, though I’m not sure why that surprised me as much as it did. I can travel to the United States but cannot run from my height. At any rate, no, I am not interested in playing basketball, because I am fat, lazy and am too busy writing about every single Master System game ever made. Basketball Nightmare being one of them. I have, in the past, enjoyed basketball-based bibeo bames such as NBA Jam, so there was always a non-zero chance I’d enjoy Basketball Nightmare, a very cute little game that pitches your team of troupers against a variety of spooky monsters such as werewolves, kappas and – most terrifyingly of all – a whole team of Dracleas. This is alright, but it’s very flickery. Shooting is quite a bit of fun and feels more skill-focused than other basketball games I’ve played; your lad hops into the air and you chuck the rock based on his height and your distance from the net. Seems obvious, sure, but I was more frequently than not able to sink it even from far away, because it felt instinctive – if generous. Passing and playing defence seemed like more of a crapshoot, though not enough to ruin the experience. One thing I really loved was the anime-esque cutscene that plays when you attempt a dunk. Brilliantly, just because you trigger this doesn’t mean you’ll actually make the dunk, so there’s still some tension. I’d say Basketball Nightmare is a bit of a mess, but it’s charming as hell and I had fun with it. And it’s my Master System Directory, so I’ll give it as many stars as I want. I’ll give it a thousand stars if I so choose! But, yeah, nah, it’s three. It’s three stars. ***

Batman Returns (1993)

As soon as I started playing this I said “ah, Aspect, we meet again”. Then I went on the internet to check if I was right, and yes, developed by Aspect, because of course it is. The music, the game feel, the life icon in the bottom left and even the way the enemies disappear when struck by a batarang practically screeched their name. This is not a bad thing; Aspect made a good number of bangers, including the 8-bit Sonics 2, Chaos and Triple Trouble, as well as the secretly excellent handheld platformer Coca-Cola Kid. Here, they’ve made something rather akin to one of the Game Gear Shinobi games, though it doesn’t reach that level of excellence. Batman is a teeny-tiny little figure on the screen, but this is to make room for him to swim with his grapple gun, which is a major part of the level design and will have you swinging and climbing all over the place, which is fun and novel, particularly on the Master System. The aforementioned music is great stuff, and the small, functional sprites look perfectly pleasant alongside the detailed backgrounds. Curiously, the first boss fight takes place in a pitch black arena which I assume has something to do with his big, swirling fireball attack – which has absolutely shite collision detection, by the way. Unfortunately that’s an issue that somewhat plagues the whole experience, not least because you die in a single hit. What kind of Batman dies in a single hit?! It’s something that’s compounded by some rather unfair obstacles and “gotcha” enemy placement. A shame, because those problems bring the whole game down to a lesser tier than it should have been. A more than decent time, but a frustrating one. ***

I'm on vacation next week, so the Master System Directory will skip a week. Please forgive me for this.

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