Nintendo pitch enriching titchy Switch

The long-rumoured Nintendo Switch Lite has finally come to pass

Good news for those who despise televisions.  Nintendo have "dropped" news of an Autumn (NOT Fall) release of the Nintendo Switch Lite, bringing their flagship hybrid system into a scaled-down handheld-only form factor. The new system cannot be used with the dock in order to play on the TV. Yes, it's a Switch that doesn't switch. Nintendo did not respond to my request for comment on this, because I didn't make one. Nonetheless, it is a little bit odd to take a console that's sold on its versatility and turn it into something designed to be played exclusively on the toilet.

Not that I'm complaining, as the Switch Lite is looking pretty fine. It's condensed to a single unit - no detachable Joycons, though you can pair your existing ones. Additionally, they've done away with the direction buttons of the original model and replaced them with a proper Nintendo-lookin' D-pad. This is exceptionally welcome. Personally, I never had a problem with the buttons, but I'd still take the traditional option any day.

Also removed are the Joycon gyro controls and HD rumble, so - and I hate to have to break this to you - 1-2 Switch is lost to us all. You'll never milk another cow. In my opinion the rumble is no big loss as it was generally a noisy irritant, though Kirby Star Allies' wonderful easter egg will not be accessible to Lite players. I can't actually think of another Switch game that utilised the gyro controls besides Breath of the Wild, and I believe they were optional anyway. It's no big loss, all told.

So, yes. The concessions - besides the big telly exodus - are minor, and the product itself is very attractive in its delicious Cadbury's Caramel yellow. And two other, lesser shades. The yellow is clearly where it's at. Old Yeller. That's what I'll call mine.