Flashpoint saves 36,000 classic Flash games

But let's face it, we're here for Nanaca Crash

BlueMaxima's Flashpoint software consists of a GUI allowing the download and immediate play of almost 40,000 Flash games from the internet of yore. Finally, our misspent youths can be relived with all those transgressive (read: juvenile) Newgrounds classics like Alien Hominid and Pico's School as well as those which had a home on Kongregate such as Canabalt, This is the Only Level and even some early work from Celeste co-creator Matt Thorson. And yet, it's all a waste of time, because the only Flash game that's still worth playing is Nanaca Crash.

Okay, that's not true. Probably. Arguably. But, crucially, it is absolutely true in every way, because Nanaca Crash is both the best Flash game ever and - avoiding hyperbole to the best of my ability - the best game ever created and the best thing ever produced by the human race.

What is Nanaca Crash? It's an ostensibly simple sorta-sports game that recalls a simplified take on the javelin event from Track & Field, but with inputs reduced to simple mouse clicks. It all starts innocently enough, with Taichi Kurosu (from a PS2 eroge called CrossChannel, as are the rest of the cast) standing by awaiting nothing in particular. Curiously, an enormous red arrow appears above his head, along with text designating him "target". Additionally, an arrow flits up an down measuring the angle of something. That something is quickly revealed - after a click to set direction and a second click to set the power - to be Nanaka herself, who slams into Taichi on her bicycle at the speed of sound, sending the poor chap launching into the air like a rocket.

As he flies, more characters from this presumably bad porn game lace the bottom of the screen. If Taichi lands on one of them, it'll trigger some sort of effect, the most common positive one being a boost that will propel Taichi forward faster and harder. However, landing on certain characters will hinder this by having Taichi's angle of flight increase or his speed simply reduced. The aim, naturally, is to have him fly as far as possible. This can be aided by judicious use of "Aerial Crashes", allowing Nanaka to teleport onscreen and deliver a second and third mid-air cycle collision, which is both useful and hilarious.

It's a compulsive, marvellously energetic game and frankly it justifies the Flashpoint project all by itself. That said if you've got fond memories of Flash content from back in t'day you should get on it right now. You can get a 300mb launcher that will download games as and when you select them, or a 250gb+ collection of literally everything. But first, ask yourself how many games about beating up Britney Spears you really need in your life.