Capcom Home Arcade brings a big Capcom logo to your place of residence or domicile
From a big name in the arcades to a literal big name in your living room
Alien vs. Predator! They're re-releasing Alien vs. Predator!! No, not the Atari Jaguar one, the Capcom one! The beat-'em-up! The thing they said would never happen has finally happened! You will be able to sit down in your living room and play Capcom's Alien vs. Predator on your--
--Oh. On a piece of proprietary hardware. That costs £199.99.
Very well! Capcom are leaping into the "Classic Mini" system market with the upcoming Capcom Home Arcade, packed with sixteen of the beloved publisher's most acclaimed coin-ops, showcasing such luminaries as Capcom Sports Club (?) and Eco Fighters (?!?). I'm being facetious. It's not a bad selection at all, though 16 games seems a tad stingy given the loadouts offered by the system's closest contemporaries - the PlayStation Classic offers 20 titles, the NES and SNES even more, and the upcoming Mega Drive Mini packs 40.
There are real classics here, though, and some of them are elusive. The aforementioned Alien vs. Predator is seeing its first re-release since its original 1994 arcade cab and they've also included rarities such as Cyberbots: Full Metal Madness, Mega Man: The Power Battle and Progear. Much of the remaining offerings, however, are extremely traditional for Capcom nostalgia products -Ghouls N' Ghosts, Strider, Street Fighter 2 Hyper Fighting etc. While obviously brilliant games, it's difficult to get too excited about yet another means to play these widely-available standards. Additionally, the also-included Final Fight, Captain Commando and Armored Warriors just came out in the Capcom Beat-'Em-Up Bundle. I can't help wonder why the highlights of this set couldn't have been another console release.
Still, the unit itself is a giant Capcom logo with arcade sticks set into it, which is amazing in the same way that a fatberg is amazing. Honestly, the absolute state of it. It'd be like making a toaster in the shape of the word "Breville". Or a prophylactic in the shape of the word "Trojan". Just utter vanity. It's so grotesque as a piece of brand worship that I honestly love it. To quote any number of brain-diseased right-wing newspaper columnists, it's beyond parody. Apparently the actual components are good, made by a company called Sanwa. I'm sure they're robust, but they're in service of a giant Capcom logo, mate. It could be made out of carved mega-diamond wrested from the deadly golem illuminati who enact their sinister business in centre of the earth and it would still be a massive Capcom logo and consequently almost impossibly stupid. It is a stupid object.
Not a glowing recommendation from me, I'm afraid, but the games available are quality. I just find myself wondering who it's actually for. Arcade enthusiasts would presumably prefer a dedicated cabinet, or have MAME setups on the go. That said this is the only way to play Alien vs. Predator legally, maybe that's worth £200 to some people. Aliens, perhaps. Or Predator(s).
And now I will leave on my bicycle shaped like the word "Raleigh". Impractical and almost impossible to ride, but all must know of my brand loyalty.