Capcom Home Arcade brings a big Capcom logo to your place of residence or domicile

From a big name in the arcades to a literal big name in your living room

Alien vs. Predator! They're re-releasing Alien vs. Predator!! No, not the Atari Jaguar one, the Capcom one! The beat-'em-up! The thing they said would never happen has finally happened! You will be able to sit down in your living room and play Capcom's Alien vs. Predator on your--

--Oh. On a piece of proprietary hardware. That costs £199.99.


Very well! Capcom are leaping into the "Classic Mini" system market with the upcoming Capcom Home Arcade, packed with sixteen of the beloved publisher's most acclaimed coin-ops, showcasing such luminaries as Capcom Sports Club (?) and Eco Fighters (?!?). I'm being facetious. It's not a bad selection at all, though 16 games seems a tad stingy given the loadouts offered by the system's closest contemporaries - the PlayStation Classic offers 20 titles, the NES and SNES even more, and the upcoming Mega Drive Mini packs 40.

Alien vs. Predator is one of those elusive titles that's a good as it is rare.

There are real classics here, though, and some of them are elusive. The aforementioned Alien vs. Predator is seeing its first re-release since its original 1994 arcade cab and they've also included rarities such as Cyberbots: Full Metal Madness, Mega Man: The Power Battle and Progear. Much of the remaining offerings, however, are extremely traditional for Capcom nostalgia products -Ghouls N' Ghosts, Strider, Street Fighter 2 Hyper Fighting etc. While obviously brilliant games, it's difficult to get too excited about yet another means to play these widely-available standards. Additionally, the also-included Final Fight, Captain Commando and Armored Warriors just came out in the Capcom Beat-'Em-Up Bundle. I can't help wonder why the highlights of this set couldn't have been another console release.

Unusual multi-game cab Wonder 3 isn't on the Home Arcade, but it bloody well should be. So here it is.

Still, the unit itself is a giant Capcom logo with arcade sticks set into it, which is amazing in the same way that a fatberg is amazing. Honestly, the absolute state of it. It'd be like making a toaster in the shape of the word "Breville". Or a prophylactic in the shape of the word "Trojan". Just utter vanity. It's so grotesque as a piece of brand worship that I honestly love it. To quote any number of brain-diseased right-wing newspaper columnists, it's beyond parody. Apparently the actual components are good, made by a company called Sanwa. I'm sure they're robust, but they're in service of a giant Capcom logo, mate. It could be made out of carved mega-diamond wrested from the deadly golem illuminati who enact their sinister business in centre of the earth and it would still be a massive Capcom logo and consequently almost impossibly stupid. It is a stupid object.

I, just -- no. Absolutely out of the question. Ridiculous.

Not a glowing recommendation from me, I'm afraid, but the games available are quality. I just find myself wondering who it's actually for. Arcade enthusiasts would presumably prefer a dedicated cabinet, or have MAME setups on the go. That said this is the only way to play Alien vs. Predator legally, maybe that's worth £200 to some people. Aliens, perhaps. Or Predator(s).

And now I will leave on my bicycle shaped like the word "Raleigh". Impractical and almost impossible to ride, but all must know of my brand loyalty.