Great news for fans of obviously very poor films: they’ve fixed Sonic. He no longer looks like one of your sleep paralysis visitors and now appears to at least superficially resemble the title character. This, it seems, is down to the hard work of Sonic superfan Tyson Hesse (Sonic Mania, Diesel, Boxer Hockey) whose attempt to “fix” the original skin-sack-o’-spiders went viral back when the original trailer set the internet on fire.

So, now there’s a new trailer and they’ve presumably flogged the effects team within an inch of their lives to completely replace the first preview’s Stripe from Gremlins/mutant tarantula with a NEW SONIC who looks ALMOST CORRECT. Don’t get me wrong, the movie still looks like absolute mince. Don’t be fooled into thinking otherwise – while they have almost entirely fixed Sonic, this does not mean the script has been rewritten by the Coen brothers.

We’ve still got Jim Carrey as Doctor Robotnik, whose prancing and mugging may well entertain on a primal “look, he’s doing Ace Ventura” level. There’s James Marsden as a small-town Sheriff who gets all up in our blue hedgehog’s business. Most excitingly, though, Frank C. Turner is appearing as a character named Crazy Carl. I have no idea who that actor is or any details on his role, but I for one am all aboard the Crazy Carl hype train.

There’s a distinct lack of women in the new trailer, which is a little strange given Tika Sumpter’s apparently sizeable role and her appearance in the original “coming attractions” clip (which, as you’ll recall, featured Sonic as “The Wendigo”). This suggests a potential re-focus and extensive re-editing of the final movie as well as the change to Sonic’s appearance.

I personally suggest a few further changes; remove Sonic, mothball the film and burn the negatives. Only then can society begin to take that first faltering step towards the light. Cheers.

• sega
• sonic
• movies
• Stuart Gipp