Super Mario 3D All-Stars brings N64, Gamecube and Wii classics to Switch

It's 3D, Mario! Let's-a go! (More Mario news, too!)

Well, the rumours were true. A bit. Sort of. Nintendo have gone a done a big, wet Mario right in the middle of the Switch. Yes, Super Mario 3D All-Stars will be "dropping" on September 18th - a scant two weeks away. Get your games finished now, Nauties, because it will soon be - to quote the portly plumber himself - "Mario time!"

Included in the package are a trio of Super Mario bits, flagship 3D Mario titles for the Nintendo 64, Gamecube and Wii respectively. That's right, it's Super Mario 64, Super Mario Sunshine and Super Mario Galaxy, included in one bafflingly time-limited package that's apparently going away next March. Still, that's more than long enough to remortgage your house and pick it up, and when that deadline hits the games will probably be sold separately anway. OK, the source for that last bit is my big auld arse, but I'd be surprised if Nintendo just left money on the table like that. Oh, who am I kidding? No I wouldn't. They're out of their minds. Loons, even. Bonkers of the head.

Any extras? Why, yes! The soundtracks for the games have all been included, in case you feel like listening to Good Egg Galaxy on your commute or whatever. Super Mario Sunshine seems have been spruced up into 16:9, but I suppose it's too much to ask for them to completely redesign the entire thing and make it actually good. That's right, I said it! (Tears off shirt) Square goes, mate!!

NOT included.

No, though, I'm actually quite excited to play Sunshine again, for its flaws. It presented a very eeeeeenteresting take on 3D Mario and all told, I think I prefer it to Super Mario 64, a game I am content to respect from afar while avoiding playing the sodding thing at all costs. Sorry, but it's just not to my taste, structurally. Prefer Banjo-Kazooie. Getting kicked out of the painting levels every time you get a Power Star is just annoying.

The original Super Mario All-Stars has been made available on the SNES app for Nintendo Switch Online, so you too can experience the WRONG AND BAD versions of Super Mario Bros. 1 and 3. Look, they changed them slightly. Obviously they are now ruined.

Oh! There's also more Mario news, with a lovely little mini Game & Watch thingy coming out in assuredly limited quantities. It's got Super Mario Bros, Super Mario Bros. For Super Players, and a new version of the classic Game & Watch title Ball. I once developed a game also called Ball, and it was rejected from the industry on grounds of poor taste. Gamers! Hack that little Game & Watch thing so I can run Game Boy games on it and I'll have a ball. They should have included the Game & Watch Gallery series anyway, it's a total no-brainer!

They're doing Super Mario 3D World, too, with new content. I loved that game so much. A glorious four-player melding of the best elements of 2D Mario with a lovely diorama-ish aesthetic. Ooh, it was very good indeed! But it's not retro so I'm not allowed to talk about it. Even now, I fear I've said too much. (Sound of gin bottles clinking sinisterly) Oh no! The ap-Parish-on! (Dies)