G-Darius HD and Gynoug gee up on Switch
Two Gs reviewed by Stu G
Boy! It’s a really good time to be a Darius fan, no? Almost the entire series is available on Switch across the various Cozmic Collections/Cozmic Revelations, with the latter gifting the world the already-covered Chronicle Saviours and now another absolute classic in G-Darius HD. Released in arcades and on PlayStation (and PS2 via the still-astounding Taito Legends 2), it pushes classic Darius gameplay into extremely smooth low-poly 3D with the usual diverse structure, gigantic fish spaceships and – best of all – the ability to capture enemies and use them as part of your arsenal.
Actually, I lied. The best feature in G-Darius is BEAM FIGHT (my name, not the game’s) which is your absorption of a captured enemy in order to fire a massive beam. It rules, and what rules even more is that bosses can do it too and if your beam hits theirs you get into a proper Dragon Ball Z style (presumably, I’ve never seen it) BEAM FIGHT where button mashing can cause your beam to overpower the enemy’s and blow them right up. Or just do massive damage.
The boss fights are a real joy and spectacle here, indeed – brilliantly designed both aesthetically and in terms of varied bullet patterns, they can often feel like real arduous tests of skill. “Arduous” sounds bad, yes, but in combination with the often haunting music they can become rather epic and exciting. As with all Darius games it’s rough going in terms of difficulty, but well worth perseverance. And, again, isn’t it just ace that all these classic games are being made available again? Worrr.
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Another shmup beginning with the letter “G” has also landed on Switch in 1991’s cult Mega Drive classic Gynoug. Laughably known in the US as Wings of Wor (worrrrrr!! Again) I don’t know how its original title is pronounced – as a kid I would say “Guy-Nog” but I’m not convinced nowadays that it isn’t “Ji-no-ug” or something. Fill me in, folks. Anyroad, Gynoug is a sort of precursor to the cheerfully sexual Tom of Finland-ass (and I mean ass) Chou Aniki series and as such is absolutely rammed with cocks, subtle innuendo intended. Yes, many of the enemies you’ll face here either have or are big willys, and if that’s something you can’t handle then go play something with no penises in it like a coward.
My history with Gynoug is seeing it listed in Mega Drive directories as a kid and then more recently watching vTuber Inugami Korone play it for hours and hours and hours and hours and hours. But now, having had a go, I can see why. Of course, it’s harder than nails at times but it all looks and sounds awesome with great-feeling controls. It’d be cool if some of the aforementioned Chou Aniki series could hit Switch, too, as the only way to play the series in the west (besides emulation or importing, natch) is to buy the PS1 title on a PlayStation 3 using a Japanese account. Come on, friends, the world is ready for the penis-men of Chou Aniki!
